Paperwork

It happens to all of us. By us I mean runners. Anyway, it happens to all of us, you're out for a run (long or short it doesn't matter) and that urge hits you. You know the urge I'm talking about, the one that begins at the top of your stomach and ends at. . . well your end, as in hind end. 

Usually it starts innocently enough that you think it will pass. Then it slowly builds enough that you begin to calculate the time and distance to the next depository telling yourself that you'll make it and to remain calm even though you are panic stricken with your eyes darting around searching for the best place to "relieve" yourself in case you don't make it. You are also taking inventory to determine the best way to clean yourself if it does in fact come down to a stop in the bushes. 

Fortunately, up ahead in the distance, you see what you've been patiently holding out for. A soothing oasis of comfort. A familiar friend. A throne fit for a king or court jester.  The nearest bathroom on your run!

You eagerly approach and begin to calculate the time this unscheduled pitstop is going to add to your time on the road. Then it hits! That sinking feeling that the oasis you didcovered isn't close enough. Panic begins to set in. Will you make it? Can you hold out for ten more feet and the time it takes to undo the knot in your shorts. 

Ah, relief!! Until you discover there isn't any paper to complete your work.